To start off, just a few  tips ,that led me Quibitio Esposito    to success and might help you too-

*If you notice wrinkles forming in your birthday suit iron them out.

*To reward yourself for losing the weight you set out to lose, take yourself out to dinner at a fast food restaurant.

*When asked "Why should we hire you?" in a job interview, reply with "I'm a vampire and can work with 200% efficiency." You're sure to get the job

*After washing your pet, always remember to put it in the microwave to dry it.

*To avoid awkward situations, put pants on before the guests arrive.